The “music police“ are everywhere, especially in our heads. In the classical world, syncopation is somehow impolite, even if a Beethoven or Schubert begs you to do it. No, it is an upbeat, no matter what. In a fugue, you must emphasis all the thematic entrances, no matter how many, how tedious, or how harmonically inconvenient. As if you needed to demonstrate every presentation of a tone row. The rules are arcane, detailed, and secret, but every classical musician knows them in their bones. You can perform new music with the score, but if it is a classical solo piano work or a concerto, you must play by heart. You may not play solo piano with the lid closed, and must use at least half-stick in chamber music. You must play a Mozart and Haydn Allegro as fast as possible, even if it sounds terrible that way. It is not permissible to play a single movement from a Beethoven Sonata. You may not pedal in Bach. There are rules for fingering, pedaling, even bowing to applause. There is a hand-crippling fetish with “legato”. Sixteenth notes must be played evenly, the melody is always in the treble, don’t rush, don’t pause, maximize dynamic contrast, project to the bleachers, on and on and on. It is embarrassing to start listing the rules, because everyone rationalizes them and protests that they are obviously correct, self-evident, and necessary. It is no wonder this is a dying art, or dead.